Life is crazy.
We just passed the 1 year mark till the wedding, and I’ve been slowly falling into a steady career. When I think about everything that has changed over the past year, from June 1, 2013, till now, I’m amazed at the different person I’ve become.
When I made the decision to sign up for the Heart Break Hill 10K, which is coming up this Saturday, I didn’t know what to expect. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to make it, or if I would be able to hit my goal of 6 miles in 60 minutes. But now, I’m thinking maybe I can.
When I started running 3 times a week in November, I didn’t know how many life events running would help get me through. I totaled my first car the day after Christmas, was lucky to walk away with a small cut from the seatbelt, horrible whiplash and a minor concussion. But coming back to running after that made me feel so much better about fighting with the insurance (which took forever to tell me if my car was totaled or not) and buying a “new” car, even though I didn’t have a job.
Running on almost a daily basis gets me through the stress of working two jobs, of not being able to be in control of things going on in my life. And trust me, control freaks like me need as much help with that as they can get.
I’m a happier person when I run. Before I made my grand return to running, I would have breakdowns about trying to find a job or being so frustrated with myself for not being where I thought I would be. But now, I think that it’ll all be better after I go run. Because when I’m running, I control everything. I control where I run, when I run, what I listen to, and how fast I go. Sometimes I feel like running is the only thing in my life I can control.
And, maybe that’s OK.
Maybe I don’t need to call the photographer once a week to ask about packages. Maybe I don’t need to worry about what recipe we’ll make next week. Maybe it’s OK if the laundry doesn’t get done for a few days. Maybe I should just stop trying to control everything, and focus on something that I am in control of: myself.