Loss as motivation – Part 1 of 3

Loss is difficult for everyone. From a very early age we don’t like it. When a toy is lost or taken away a child cries and becomes distressed. We’re taught that loss is bad. That loss hurts.

But does it always, really?

In this 3-part series I will discuss particular losses (of people or things) in my life that have taken an effect at shaping who I am today, sitting at a computer in New England typing this sentence.

Loss isn’t always bad.

There are some losses in life that are not a bad thing. Though they may be hard to handle at first, they enable you to be better as a person.  In December 2010, as I sat in a restaurant near my hometown with my boyfriend of a few years, enjoying the best restaurant bread I still have ever tasted, he said, “I have a bad feeling and can’t deal with it anymore.”

Someone please mark this down with other horrible breakup lines.

“It’s not you; it’s me.” “I need some time to find myself.”

What the hell does “bad feeling” even mean? I spent the next few weeks as we tried not talking (to give him time to figure things out) stressed and blasting a Josh Groban album based on what happens when love goes wrong. I never thought I would be able to go back to the way I was. But as a month went by, and his “Maybe I’ll come back” texts started to make sense in my brain, I realized that I didn’t want to wait around. I was sick of doing that.

So I told him I was done waiting. I told him I didn’t want him to come back. I was done.


Taken after my 1st 5K

I had lost my boyfriend, because of decisions he had made, but that didn’t mean I had to lay down and let my life be over. Yes, I was emotionally devastated for a while. I was angry and hurt and spent a night ripping apart a cardboard box as I cried my eyes out.

But I came back.

That next year, I tested for my 4th Degree Black Belt in Little Rock, Ark., and I started my journey with running.

Sometimes losses are a good thing. They force you to stand up on your own and believe in yourself. Who knows, I probably wouldn’t even be a runner right now if that hadn’t happened.


About AlyL

A wandering spirit drawn to running, music, theater, and those that give life to others. Functioning in a life that's next to normal.
This entry was posted in Inspiration, Writing 101 - Journey of Me and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Loss as motivation – Part 1 of 3

  1. I wish I could say that I get this but I can’t since I’ve never really been in a relationship but I do know how its like to give up on something which you once held dear, because it’s not right for you, so really kudos to you to have the strength to do that

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