WOW. One year already?? It amazes me just how quickly time passes when you look back at things. SO much has changed in the last year.
There’s been a lot of struggling, and lot of tears, a lot of anxiety and dragons to fight inside my head – but I think I’ve come through the worst of it without too many scars.
And a major reason why is the Marathon finishers jacket hanging in my closet. OK, maybe not the actual jacket, but you get my drift.
I learned so much during those 26.2 miles.
I learned that fear can be conquered, and that sometimes the smile and kind words from a stranger can make all the difference in the world.
I still maintain that without that water station attendant near mile 18 telling me I could finish, I would have dropped out. Because of that, I smile at strangers more. I’m sure 99% of them think I’m mentally deranged, and they might not be wrong, but hopefully at least one of those people gets the smile they need to get through the day.
Reflecting back on those 26 miles, I don’t think I could have told you what those memories would mean to me today, a year later. So far this year running has not gone as planned. I’ve struggled with a lot of aches and pains and it’s been hard to get back to consistent running.
I know this is going to sound like I’m having a quarter-century crisis, but I’m glad I ran that marathon when I did. Right now I can’t get one mile in without some kind of troubling pain or weirdness from muscle tightness.
Turning 25 has been rough.
Lately I’ve been laughing at myself for the thoughts in my head. I sound like a 90 year old on their deathbed talking about the “good old times.” I’m totally that person who misses church camp and long musical rehearsals. I miss college – not so much the classes – but the people.
When I was running, I didn’t miss those things as much. I felt ALIVE. I know I’ll get back out on the road soon enough and the pavement will once again belong to me. It’s been a struggle to live in the present and not stress about the future or long for the past.
But I’m going to get back to where I was a nearly two years ago – when things felt in control and somewhat manageable. Sure, life will never be predictable, but who says you can’t make the race of life your bitch?